The Importance of Now

Since Sarah got sick, I have been asked the following questions many times, “How is Sarah doing? How are you doing? How are the girls doing?” It’s very hard to know how to answer because the answer is so complicated. The feelings are so mixed, and they change so rapidly, that it is hard at any one moment to say exactly how we are. Each day is like a roller coaster: moments where I know that everything is going to be fine, moments where I am afraid.

In the moments when I am afraid, I try to remember the blessedness, the priceless beauty of NOW. I try to really hug and really feel my children’s arms around me. I take time to rub in the kisses planted on my cheek. I look in my children’s eyes and listen to their words. Together, we try to really experience the world around us–the rustle of wind through the trees, the warmth of the sun on our faces, the cold splash of the creek on our feet, the ever-changing colors of the sky, singing our favorite songs together at the top of our lungs in the car, and moments like these…

Sarah acting silly with her sisters before a clinic visit.

Sarah acting silly with her sisters before a clinic visit.

These are the things we can know NOW.

Recently, I have heard many stories of loss–some have lost loved ones to cancer, others to car accidents, and others in other ways–it reminds me that tomorrow is never guaranteed. Therefore, it is important to be present in the moments that we have. No material goods or success we may achieve is more important than this–being fully aware and fully alive NOW. It is not easy to achieve. It takes practice, and it requires resistance to the many ways our culture tries to distract us.

So, my answer to the question, “How are you? How is Sarah? How are the girls?” is that today, NOW, we are good. We are together, and we are laughing and drawing and playing and loving each other the best we know how. And for this moment, that’s what matters most.

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